Yvonnah Marshall
Professor Scott Olsen
IWC 100
8 October 2021
The Reward of Sacrifice
Throughout the memoir It’s What I Do, the author, Lynsey Addario, shares her journey and passion for being a war photojournalist. However, in search of finding her purpose, Lynsey chooses to devote most of her time to her career and makes many hard sacrifices along the way. Not only is Lynsey a photojournalist, constantly risking her life to capture images of hardships in other countries, she is also a source and influencer of change regarding foreign policy with the desire to educate others. Throughout the search of finding purpose in her career and her own contributions to society, self-reflection becomes a key concept which explained the sacrifices she made and additionally the reward of her decisions. There were also countless times in her accounts where Lynsey mentions her life outside of work being threatened by both time commitments and the risk factors, causing her family and other relationships to shift.
From her first encounter with a camera given to her by her father, she quickly realized her passion for photography and traveling. Lynsey also grew up with a family who was accepting and open to all people which I believe fostered the desire for wanting to help others beyond her community and allowed her to connect with all different people. When Lynsey studied abroad, she embraced the work of street photography where she found herself capturing people doing all different things. Then, when she graduated college, she moved to Buenos Aires and discovered taking pictures was a way for her to travel with a purpose. Her first encounter of photographing was of Argentinean mothers protesting during the Dirty war, where she said, “I tried to frame their pain and unresolved sadness in my viewfinder” (Addario 33). Lynsey knew this was something worth mentioning to the public back in the United States. To her these images were original and something typically unacknowledged by current journalist. Wanting to get her work out, she became persistent in getting a job for the Buenos Aires newspaper while in the country. After finally getting the opportunity to publish her work, Lynsey got her images on the front page of the paper immediately that morning. Gaining this acknowledgment, she devoted her life to photojournalism while announcing she wanted to “… tell peoples stories through photos; to do justice to their humanity; to provoke the kind of empathy for the subjects that I was feeling in that moment” (Addario 36). This was all she wanted, simply to tell other people’s side of the story. However, with this large amount of commitment, she suddenly realized her life back home would never be fulfilled as she said, “I knew I would never get married in my twenties; in fact, I wasn’t sure I would ever love anything as much as photography” (Addario 39).
Later in Lynsey’s life, she was given another opportunity to travel to India with a professor but tells us this decision could cost her life in New York and not be maintainable. Yet, her being an achiever, she took the chance and parted with her life back in the United States for good. As she began to settle in New Delhi and meet other photojournalist, she learned her decision of moving and not trying to keep her home in New York could have been a mistake. Though this change was difficult, she continued to find ways to engage in all the country of Asia had to offer for the benefit of her work. While Lynsey attempted to make the most of her time in Asia, she repeatedly envisioned her future while thinking of her life back home. Thus, we see her struggle to accept her choices as she said, “Everyone’s life was moving forward while I was chasing good light and village women in India and worried sometimes whether I was condemning myself to a spinster’s future: forever single, having affairs with random men” (Addario 54). Indifferent about her new life, Lynsey’s new calling was to work for the New York Times. She remained devoted to the role of being a photojournalist, while remembering her ambition as she expressed, “I felt that if I could only shoot for the New York Times – to me, the newspaper that most influenced American foreign policy and that employed the world’s best journalist – I would reach the pinnacle of my career” (Addario 54). The choice of working for a more well-known organization left Lynsey feeling even more connected with her job. Showing this much dedication and courage to any profession is truly incredible. Lynsey gave up her life in the states and took every opportunity offered to her in order to report what was going on around the world.
In search of a way to work for the New York Times, Lynsey was given a suggestion of going to Afghanistan to photograph the women living under the Taliban. However, she knew little about what it was like there and only could recall the stories she read in the New York Times and therefore questioned, “Were Westerners imposing their own set of values on a Muslim country? Were Afghan woman miserable living under a burqa and under the Taliban? Or did we just assume they were miserable because our lives are so different?” (Addario 55). Lynsey was unbiased and ready to challenge other western journalist to uncover the truth about Muslims. Nevertheless, moving to a war country was going to create fearful emotions since her fate was unknown, but she knew this was what she wanted to do and couldn’t give this opportunity up. So, she immediately scheduled her departure and arrival date as soon as she could. While traveling and investing all her money into her photojournalism career, she recognized her financial state was not sufficient to make such a trip. With her family relationships all at stake because of lack of connection, she knew asking for money wasn’t a possibility but daringly asked her sister to fund her trip and got enough to make ends meet. When Lynsey arrived in Pakistan, her first responsibility was to become familiar with the culture of the woman to protect herself being an American in a foreign country and obtain a visa to ensure her safety and stay. While photographing the damage left behind from the war and trying to stay out of sight by men of authority, she once again began to reflect, “I missed all the things I hadn’t realized I had grown to love. The things I hadn’t even been aware of before. Like my freedom” (Addario 69). Lynsey realized she may never get to experience a regular life again which shows she knew her hard work would pay off.
As Lynsey got to experience life in different parts of the world, she also faced the challenge of not being together with her loved ones. When good or bad events within her family occurred, she would be last to know – there would be nothing she could do anyways – Lynsey started to feel a sense of guilt and said, “I learned early on that living a world away meant I would have to work harder to stay close to the people I loved” (Addario 79). Lynsey sacrificed her relationships with her family because of her desire to make the world conscious of notable events which wouldn’t otherwise be shared unless there were men and woman like herself to do so.
In addition to her struggle to stay connected to her family, Lynsey also wrestled with keeping a partner. After meeting a man named Uxval, in Mexico, Lynsey witnessed the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center from her TV in Mexico and recognized her mission was to return to Afghanistan. Uxval also knew his time with Lynsey was limited and took the action upon himself to leave her before she had left him. Lynsey recalls, “This was the first time I had to decide between my personal and professional lives. Some part of me knew, or hoped, that real love should complement my work, not take away from it” (Addario 85).
Eventually, Uxval messaged her while she was actively on duty to officially end things between them. Lindsey’s means to feel some type of normality, she decided to take a break from her career in order to fight for their relationship and when she returned to Mexico where Uxval lived, she experienced confusion and said, “I wasn’t sure whether I had made the right decision in flying back to Mexico – weather I wanted my personal life or my career to dictate the decisions I made, where I lived, and how I lived. But I knew that I felt unsure watching Kabul fall on the small TV we bought after the attacks on September 11th. I was in the wrong place” (Addario 100). This quote was significant because she tries to justify her spontaneous decisions and demanding work by fighting for something she knew wasn’t crucial for her career.
Traveling back to Pakistan, Lynsey finds herself with one chance to prove to the New York Times her abilities to cover the mood in Pakistan and show it was worth the publicity. All the work she had done leading up to this point showed her strength of character and, for Lynsey, to know her sacrifices were for a greater purpose was admirable. As she tirelessly worked to obtain the perfect images and story, Lynsey was able to compile enough material to send her first pitch to the New York Times where they accepted her work and put it into a magazine which became an important steppingstone in her career. Following this was when Lynsey put herself back on to the streets of Pakistan, closer to the invasion, where she ran into a situation which most would call sexual assault. Lynsey combatively acted, frustrated with the men who continued to harass her, Lynsey yelled at the men in shame but then feared for the rest of her time there. Terrified by her previous situations and the overall emotions from Muslims about Americans, Lynsey and another female colleague, Elizabeth, decided to learn more about how to act as a formal Pakistani woman. Even with the efforts to disguise herself, the people including other woman began to forbid her stay in which they expressed, “You, American, are not welcome here anymore” (Addario 100). Lynsey’s willingness to educate and inform herself all while informing others is what makes her incomparable to the average person because she continued to travel around Afghanistan and Pakistan even after the obstacles she faced.
Lynsey wants to make a difference. She is willing to sacrifice her life, her relationships, her freedom, all for the opportunity to cover major events. She is committed to the feeling of purposeful work all while trying to maintain her own values, beliefs, and opinions.
Honoring the opportunity to photograph and write for the New York Times, Lynsey continued to work overseas until Christmas time came around in which she made the decision to return home to be with Uxval once again. The consequences of living in a different country arose while she was on vacation with Uxval. Lynsey had contracted an illness associated with unhygienic foods and water consumed while in Afghanistan. Lynsey said, “But I had to step up and be a real girlfriend – an exciting, attentive, normal girlfriend – to make up for the weeks away” (Addario 107). Despite her constant feeling of fatigue, Lynsey decided to cover her illness up to please Uxval. Only for so long could she keep this up until she was finally honest with herself. As she was unhappy, she began to search for another work opportunities in order to leave Mexico and Lynsey’s editor offered a position to move to Turkey for the next year; something she would never turn down. In Turkey, Lynsey was told she needed to be well equipped and prepared for the war, which was going to take place in Iraq. While attempting to cross the checkpoints to get to Iraq, Lynsey stopped photographing when she saw a truck filled with Kurdish peshmerga soldiers with their guns pointed towards her. When hurrying back to the car, she heard a loud explosion behind her and said, “It didn’t occur to me to stay at the scene and continue photographing” (Addario 122). With her colleague’s and own life in danger, they tried to and recollect themselves at the nearby hospital as many were in shock. Later, they find out one of the cameramen had been killed which was eye-opening moment for every journalist, especially Lynsey, as she states, “It seem so obvious, but I didn’t know war meant death – the journalists might also get killed in the war” (Addario 124). Lynsey experiencing a life-threatening event made her rethink this career choice and began to wonder when or if she would ever live a normal life.
As Lynsey starts to reflect on her life decisions, another question arose which was, “Could the anguish of seeing a loved one after more than a decade – decayed in a plastic bag with nothing more than strands of fabric for identification – ever translate into a single frame?” (Addario 134). She pondered the question and remembered the words of one of her mentors which said, “Observe, be patient” (Addario 134). She then captures an image great enough to dismember any doubt of why she does the things she is most passionate about. Later after taking a break and returning to the war once more, Lynsey was held at gunpoint all while discovering Iraqi insurgents had begun to attack any American, they saw including journalist. Her time in Baghdad also started to open new experiences for her as she formed a deeper connection with a colleague named Mathew. Together, they became a power team, and Lynsey was finally able to end things with Uxval indicating a sense of confidence and ownership instead of a sacrifice in her career.
Another noteworthy scene was when Lynsey and her colleagues were traveling on the smugglers’ route in Garma where they were surrounded by armed men, and it was in this moment when they realized this could be the day they die. Mathew was taken out of the car against his will, leaving Lynsey alone while the remaining armed men were left confused by her nationality. Finally, regathering them all in a truck owned by the armed men, they were then brought to the commander of the village for an interrogation. With persistent lying, Mathew and Lynsey were able to end the commander’s question of nationality and purpose for being in their country and were escorted out of the village. Before they got into their car, Lynsey shouted to the commander, “Can I take pictures?” He said, “No” (Addario 157). Lynsey’s outburst shocked her as if their lives were not almost just both ended by these men and explained her soul purpose was to get their side of the story. For the remainder of the time in Baghdad, they were at the mercy of the soldiers and their captor eventually saved their lives. All Lynsey could think of after all of this was about her parents; she, “…hoped they hadn’t been told anything” (Addario 163). When getting in contact with her father she could only hear his sobbing. Lynsey had to make a hard choice of continuing her work and leaving her parents in constant worry or return home to stop the work she had done leading up to this point. She could not give this career up, even if it meant making her parents suffer from never knowing if their daughter was safe or even alive. Lynsey said, “I knew that trauma accompanied the work of a conflict photographer – we all had heard about the drinking drugs, and suicides of the previous generation of war correspondents – and I wanted to take control of my own response. I did not want my response to kidnapping to be an escape” (Addario 165).
While taking some time for herself to decompress and eventually end things with Mathew, it was not long before she picked up a new assignment. Lynsey had gotten access to a field hospital containing the wounded American soldiers who were coming straight from battle. No other journalist had gotten such access to a place to photograph injured soldiers. The soldiers were thrilled with the idea of sharing their contributions of defending America on one of the most well know magazines. However, after submitting her photos she received an email from Life denying her work since “the images were just too “real” for the American public” (Addario 172). Lynsey was devastated, yet did not let this ruin her objective and after almost five months, was able to release her photos in the New York Times. Lynsey had finally discovered her identity throughout this entire journey and reached the conclusion; she was willing to die for her work by sharing her stories to with intent to inform others. She was willing to sacrifice her own life for her career which can be seen as the greatest sacrifice she would make.
Lynsey Addario sacrificed the relationships with her family, partners, set aside her life in New York, and even freedom to ultimately identify her passion for front-line photojournalist. Nevertheless, this discovery was probably the hardest time in her life due to all the losses she was confronted with, but the worldly publication she received was of greater value to her. Lynsey achieved an enormous sense of purpose and belonging in her field. She was able to influence different parts of the world with her work. Her accomplishments inspired many news companies and American journalist. Lynsey was determined and optimistic with all her decisions which inevitably improved self-well-being and overall career.
Works Cited
Addario, Lynsey. It’s What I Do: A Photographer’s Life of Love and War.
Penguin Books, 2015.