Abigail Guttormson
Professor Olsen
English 110
11 February 2025
It’s What I Do: A Story of Gender, Guilt, and Perseverance
Gender is part of what defines a person. For some people, gender is one of the biggest shaping factors in how they live their lives. It can give a person a sense of identity and belonging, but it can also bring many complexities and challenges. Society and how it views gender is one of the biggest reasons for this. Society imposes expectations when it comes to gender, which can make a person question their lifestyle and choices. Gender influences how individuals are perceived by society and how they perceive themselves. How a person’s gender is perceived can affect their actions, thoughts, and self-worth. Unfortunately, society’s perceptions of gender often lead to stereotypes, untrue and often harmful beliefs. Gender-based stereotypes can make a person feel inadequate and in some situations, guilty for those perceived inadequacies. A person’s gender and the stereotypes that come with it can negatively impact a person’s self-worth, making them believe that their gender may be the reason that they are not good enough for something. The guilt that comes with this can carry on throughout a person’s entire life, sometimes hindering an individual from living their fullest life. Despite the struggles that many individuals face, whether it’s because of their gender or similar struggles, some are able to find the strength to persevere and not let the difficulties they face bring them down.
In her memoir, It’s What I Do: A Photographer’s Life of Love and War, Lynsey Addario reflects on her experiences as a woman in the world of conflict photojournalism, and how it impacted her personal life and experiences in war zones. Lynsey had to make many sacrifices when it came to her personal life, whether it was with her relationships, physical safety, or her overall well-being. Lynsey always wanted a meaningful relationship, but her work made it difficult. Being a conflict photojournalist means that you can never stay in one place, which placed strain on her relationships. She had many relationships throughout life, but her work got in the way of commitment. She tried so hard to make them work, even taking back Uxval, her now ex-boyfriend, who she caught cheating on her. Lynsey’s work also led to her being put in life-threatening situations, a risk she had to accept as a conflict photojournalist. Whether it was being kidnapped, caught in crossfire, witnessing explosions, or being seriously injured in a car crash, she went through it all. Despite the terrifying situations she went through and the hardships she faced in her personal life, her passion for her work helped her find the strength to move forward. She knew what she was doing was important, and what impact photographs had on the world. Photographs can speak to people in ways that words can’t, they are unfiltered and honest. A single photo can change a person’s entire perception of reality, and Lynsey continued her work for this reason. Because of her hard work and resilience, Lynsey became one of the most impactful photographers in history. To this day, she continues to shed light on current and past issues with her impactful photographs.
Some of the main themes that can be seen in It’s What I Do are gender, guilt, and perseverance. Gender, being the most prevalent theme throughout the book, is something that impacted Lynsey’s life and work the most in a multitude of ways. For instance, although her gender led to many people underestimating her and holding her back, she still managed to find ways that she could use her gender to her advantage. In some situations, she was able to use her gender to get ahead of her male colleagues, because she was able to access areas only women could. However, Lynsey still had moments where she would feel guilty about her choice of being a woman in conflict photojournalism. She would sometimes blame her gender when she was behind her male colleagues or wasn’t good enough at something. Not only that, but she sometimes received comments questioning why she was even in this field of work, and how it would be better for her to follow traditional female roles, such as settling down and starting a family. Despite all this, Lynsey continued to persevere. Even when she was put in life-threatening situations, such as a car crash and a kidnapping, she never quit. Her passion and knowledge of just how much her photographs could change the world were strong enough to push her forward.
Much of Lynsey’s life and experiences were shaped by her gender and how others treated her because of it. Being a woman in conflict photojournalism, Lynsey has to navigate a male-dominated field and world. She was often underestimated or criticized, many not taking her seriously. For example, one time when Lynsey was in Istanbul, Turkey with Uxval, her now ex-boyfriend, a bomb exploded near them. They both ran outside to get photographs of the scene, but the Turkish police quickly came to remove them from the scene. As usual, Lynsey, the only woman among the many photographers, was the first among the crowd that the Turkish police tried to remove from the scene. She tried to dodge them, but they zeroed in on her again. She stated, “I watched a handful of Turkish male photographers shoot freely inside” (Addario 110). While one could argue that the police were just trying to do their job and get everyone to safety, Lynsey’s observation of the situation made it feel like it was targeted. Women are often underestimated and seen as more in need of protection. Even in situations when a woman may have plenty of experience and can handle herself, men sometimes look past that and try to step in to help, even if it does more harm than good. However, despite facing many obstacles because of her gender, she was able to use being a woman to her advantage as well.
Being a woman can bring many difficulties throughout life, but it can also give advantages in certain situations. Lynsey knew this and found opportunities to gain access to areas to get photographs that men couldn’t. She said, “I also made sure I used every advantage I had. I knew from my time in Afghanistan that I had a unique kind of access” (Addario 71). In some countries, such as Pakistan, there are designated areas for men and women. When Lynsey says she has “special access” she is referring to the fact that her gender allows her into places that men aren’t allowed into. An example of a time when she had “special access” was in Pakistan. In Pakistan, there were religious schools called madrassas that only women could enter. Because Lynsey is a woman, she was able to go inside them and get interviews and photographs of Pakistani women. This was something that many photographers couldn’t get pictures of since it is a male-dominated field.
Lynsey was also able to use her gender to gain access to places that weren’t exactly gender designated, as well. When first starting as a photographer, she was given a chance to prove herself to a daily newspaper called the Buenos Aires Herald. They told her that they would give her a job if she managed to sneak onto the set of Evita and get a photo of Madonna filming. Determined to get the job, she pleaded with the guards for access. She stated, “I must have looked sufficiently pathetic, because the guard smiled and cracked open the gate just enough to let me sneak through” (Addario 28). Although it wasn’t explicitly stated that her gender was the reason for her gaining access, it definitely seems as if it played a factor. Society doesn’t usually see women as very threatening, so Lynsey, being a 5’1 woman, was able to use it to her advantage. Overall, even though being a woman gave Lynsey some difficulties in the world of conflict photojournalism sometimes, whether it was because she was underestimated or discriminated against, she still managed to find advantages in it, giving Lynsey opportunities that many other photographers didn’t.
Guilt is another key theme of It’s What I Do. Lynsey is passionate about her work and has been almost her entire life. She understands the importance of what she is doing and knows she should continue it. Even then, she still dealt with feelings of guilt throughout her life when it came to her profession and personal life. As discussed before, Lynsey had to face many struggles when it came to her gender. These struggles sometimes led to her doubting her abilities in conflict photojournalism and life choices, making her wonder if she should even be in her profession. This doubt about her choices can be seen in the book when Lynsey says “I felt like a failure, and sensed the limitations of my gender” (Addario 177). In this scene, Lynsey is reflecting on how she had opted out of scaling difficult terrain with her male colleagues, therefore missing out on the chance to get photographs of the civilian casualties in Korengal. Although her decision to not take on the challenge was not entirely because she felt limited by her gender, but rather because of her pregnant colleague, she still had thoughts on her gender being at fault and felt guilt for it.
Lynsey’s guilt about being a woman in conflict journalism and the life choices she has made can be seen in her personal life as well. When talking to others about her profession, she would sometimes receive comments like, “When are you going to just stop all this war zone stuff? Why not get pregnant?” (Addario 210). In our society, Settling down and starting a family is often seen as the norm for women, so it can make women who are passionate about their work and don’t want to settle down feel almost like an outcast. Whenever Lynsey would receive comments like these, they made her feel even more guilty about being in conflict photojournalism as a woman. These remarks made it seem as if she was selfish for not following traditional female expectations, and Lynsey herself even admitted at one point that she also thinks that the profession is selfish. Even though she knows that what she is doing can impact the world in positive ways, she is still affected by comments questioning her purpose.
Lynsey also felt guilt in other aspects of her emotional life, such as her relationships. Lynsey often felt guilt in her relationships because she was not able to be like most girlfriends. Her profession as a photojournalist meant that she was always working, which meant constantly traveling and even risking her life. This paired with the fact that many of her relationships were long-distance for long periods meant that it was difficult for her to find stability and true commitment. An example of where Lynsey’s profession negatively impacted her relationships is when she was with Uxval. While her relationship with Uxval was never the most stable in the first place, her work only made it worse. She states in the book, “I knew I could never be the woman he needed. I feared this would be true for every man. My work would always come before anything else” (Addario 84). She understood that her work would always get in the way of her relationships, and she felt guilty because of it. To make it worse, sometime during their relationship, Lynsey found out he was cheating on her after finding messages from a woman proclaiming her love for Uxval. Lysney continued to struggle with many relationships throughout her life, and the guilt of not being able to be a normal girlfriend stayed with her.
Another key theme of It’s What I Do is perseverance. Being a conflict photojournalist meant that Lynsey faced many difficult situations. Photojournalists not only face mental battles in their profession but sometimes even physical, life-threatening situations as well. Lynsey faced many life-threatening situations, one being when she got seriously injured in a car crash. She and her colleagues were on their way to Peshawar, Pakistan when the driver lost control of the car and crashed, causing Lynsey to fall into unconsciousness. When Lynsey woke up, she found out she had many injuries, including a broken collarbone, scrapes, two sprained ankles, and sprained ribs. Despite the injuries and possibly almost losing her life, she didn’t want to quit. Instead, whenever someone would question why she would ever continue putting herself in such dangerous situations, her response would be “I prefer to be doing exactly what I am doing”. She didn’t want to quit, and whenever someone would question why she would ever continue putting herself in such dangerous situations, her response would be “I prefer to be doing exactly what I am doing”.
Lynsey continued to persevere despite going through multiple life-threatening situations. For example, during one of her trips in Libya, Lynsey and her male colleagues were kidnapped. It was three weeks into the Libyan uprising, and they were covering an anti-government revolt. When Qaddafi soldiers saw the journalists, they decided they were the enemy. The Qaddafi soldiers kidnapped, bound, and held them hostage. For many days, they were physically abused, and Lynsey, the only woman, was sexually assaulted. Lynsey was scared for her life, not knowing what would happen to them. To make things worse, one of the Qadaffi soldiers kept repeating the phrase “You will die tonight” (Addario 225), making the situation feel much more dire. This was one of, if not the most dangerous situation that Lynsey had faced during her career in conflict journalism, but even then she says “I had interviewed suffering people all over the world, and they never felt like victims. They felt like survivors. I had learned from them” (Addario 243). Despite everything that she went through, from car crashes to being kidnapped, she refused to call herself a victim. Instead, she reflected on the strength of the people whose tragedies she witnessed as a photojournalist and took after them.
Lynsey also shows her perseverance when she becomes pregnant. Lynsey was never against the idea of starting a family with someone she loves, but she was afraid of how it would affect her job. She knew that becoming pregnant would probably mean that she would not be hired anymore, as it would be seen as too dangerous for a pregnant woman to do conflict photojournalism. She didn’t want these decisions to be made for her, stating “I didn’t want to surrender those choices as a woman and as a professional” (Addario 259). At first, when Lynsey did eventually become pregnant, she felt as if her life was over. Those thoughts of how much the pregnancy had negatively impacted her job and life came flooding back, and she was terrified. However, those thoughts eventually faded. She continued her work and traveled to multiple countries, even if her pregnancy would make it more difficult. Her passion for conflict photojournalism outweighed those worries, and she persevered through it.
It’s What I Do is an inspirational memoir sharing Lynsey Addario’s experiences as a woman in conflict journalism. The memoir explores many themes, including gender, guilt, and perseverance. Overall, gender seems to be the most central theme of It’s What I Do. When exploring the other themes throughout the memoir, almost every one of them can be connected back to gender. Lynsey faced many obstacles as a woman, whether it was the discrimination she faced because of her gender, the guilt she felt for her choices, or the traumatic, life-threatening situations she was put in. Lynsey was constantly underestimated as a woman in conflict photojournalism, but she didn’t let it stop her. Instead, she became stronger and found ways to push on, even finding ways to use her gender to her advantage in certain situations. Although she was able to use her gender to her advantage in some situations, she still struggled with feelings of guilt for being a woman in conflict photojournalism. Sometimes when she made a mistake or felt as if she wasn’t enough for something, she would blame it on her gender. Despite these many challenges, Lynsey continued to persevere for the sake of her profession. Even after going through multiple life-threatening situations, she continued to push forward, not even seeing herself as a victim, but as a survivor. In the end, Lynsey’s reflection on her experiences as a woman in conflict photojournalism inspires all who read it to continue to move forward despite the challenges one may face in life.
Work Cited
Addario, Lynsey. It’s What I Do: A Photographer’s Life of Love and War. Penguin Publishing Group, 2016.