Calvin Johnson
Professor Scott Olsen
English 110
13 March 2026
No Cost Too Great
One day, while my classmates and I were discussing professional conflict photographer Lynsey Addario’s decision to fly pregnant into a war zone, I heard this remark: “She shouldn’t have done that.” I was immediately struck by the candor of my peers. For weeks our class had been reading and discussing Addario’s autobiographical book, It’s What I Do: A Photographer’s Life of Love and War, and out of all the remarkable things in her life, I was stunned this is what caught our whole class’s attention. But it was not just this decision of hers that our class disapproved of; nearly every choice Addario made for her children was thrown in the hot seat and criticized. Not only our class, but rather much of the world, her husband, and even herself have criticisms of Addario’s parenting. I have always been intrigued about the effects of a dual life one one’s family. Without realizing it, our class had stumbled into a discussion about one of the most challenging kinds, the duality of war and family. What was most curious about the situation was Addario admitting herself that she was not doing her best as a parent. I was curious how damaging this dual life actually was. Besides just war journalists, there are millions of individuals actively in militaries around the world with hundreds of millions more who once were. Were all these people damaging the lives of their families and children? Did the general populace have valid criticisms, or were they misinformed with naive opinions derived from a different lifestyle? Even if these individuals knew that their actions were harming their families, would they be willing to stop?
To develop a base understanding of some of the hardships caused by war, one must only look at the story of WWII war photographer Lee Miller. A patriotic citizen who only wanted to serve her country, Miller’s story fits in line with the stories of many others of the time. With her skills as a former fashion model, Miller found she had a talent for photography. When WWII began, Miller volunteered to be a photojournalist for the war effort. She witnessed and recorded some of the most historic events from the war, but in return paid a heavy price. Upon the war’s end Miller’s life was forever changed. She quickly found herself sinking into a depressive state. During the war, Miller began using Benzedrine, a stimulant common during the time, to gain energy. Her days after the war were filled with drugs and alcohol as she struggled to re-enter society. During this time of her life, Miller all but lost her relationship with her husband and barely escaped suicide. However, it was more than just Miller who was battling with the aftermath of the war. As she wrote in a letter to her husband Roland, “Really great groups of humans are suffering the same shock symptoms caused by peace that I’m combatting… that they have outgrown their wives or become socially unfit or drunks or misanthropes” (Penrose 148). Although iconic, Miller’s story is not unique, and she along with thousands of others across various wars have struggled with the same issues. War is not an easy thing to go through, and for people like Miller, they carry that burden wherever they go. Unfortunately for Miller, she carried her burden home with her.
It was on the heels of one of the worst times in her life that Miller and Roland had their first child. Anthony Penrose was born in September 1947 to a broken family. Although Miller was happy to be a new parent, Penrose summarizes her struggle with motherhood with these words: “Lee, the arch child-hater, had become a mother” (Penrose 184). The beginning of their relationship was filled with a bliss that quickly morphed into something much worse. The two never missed chances to attack each other’s character, and Penrose grew up believing his mother wanted nothing to do with him. Far too late in her life she managed to repair her relationship with her family, just a few years before her death. This is not a unique story. Miller’s life and her struggles are the embodiment of the struggles of too many war veterans. If these people knew how much they were sacrificing, they may have chosen not to involve themselves with war. The toll that was extracted on them went far beyond their time in service. Especially with past wars, many soldiers, without realizing it, were securing a future of alcohol and depression. They were ruining the lives of their families and themselves.
Although recent times have not yielded any Great Wars, many of the same problems those soldiers faced are still relevant today. Depression in individuals involved with war, chiefly members of the service, has long been an issue. However, the study of it only relatively recently began, following the first World War. According to the World Health Organization, a United Nations agency focused on creating a healthy and safe world, throughout the world in situations of armed conflict, “10% of the people who experience traumatic events will have serious mental health problems and another 10% will develop behavior that will hinder their ability to function effectively” (Murthy and Lakshminarayana). Once again, these individuals, sometimes without knowing it, have set themselves up for a life of hardship. Soldiers who suffer are unable to leave these issues on the battlefield; they take them back home to their families.
Although the study of mental health for soldiers has received much attention in recent years, there is still a large demographic that has flown under the radar: The children. A study conducted in 2015 by Suzannah Creech, a research psychologist with a PhD in clinical psychology, and her colleagues examined parental service in the military and its effects on children. The study looked at behavioral traits in children ages 0-18 in both civilian and military families. What Creech’s team found was that children of families with at least one parent deployed reported thoughts of suicide, depression, and anxiety in higher amounts than children of non-deployed families (Creech et al). In addition to this, these children had less interpersonal and communication skills, so not only are they struggling with depression, but they are also struggling to communicate that to others. Creech’s team additionally found that spouses of deployed parents had increased stress and anxiety. Her team closed their research stating how important it would be for others to continue their studies: “Further exploration within this domain is crucial, as it will be relevant to large numbers of families for many years to come as children age into adolescence” (Creech et al). A recent survey by Bloom, a division of the National Military Family Association focused on providing support for teens in military families, found similar results. According to their survey, 42 percent of military teens suffered emotional distress, and as much as 11 percent reported domestic abuse (Jowers). Crystal Lewis, director of research and insights at the National Military Family Association, expressed a similar sentiment to Creech’s team, saying, “No one is looking at this population. No one is paying attention to these teens” (Jowers). This research points to issues that experts think are not being addressed. The reason for general disinterest is unclear, but the topic remains ever-present.
When generally regarding the topic of service, the public tends to praise military members and journalists for their willingness to serve. However, if one focuses on a specific story, and the people impacted by it, they might be more inclined to disapprove of the actions the parent has taken. This is what happened to my peers when discussing Addario’s story. After learning about the individual people and how they were affected, these students decided that the decisions Addario made were foolish, and even unethical. These beliefs come from the perspective of someone who is sympathetic towards the families. However, the most important opinions are those of the families themselves, and when analyzing those, some peculiar results appear.
Despite all the negative effects, many of these children still hope to serve in the military. In the same survey from Bloom, they determined that 65 percent of military teens plan to go in to service (Jowers). One would expect to find parents have even a stronger desire for their children to serve, but a study conducted by Blue Star Families, a veteran founded research organization that works to improve the lives of military members, revealed that not to be the case. They concluded that only one third of military families would recommend service to their children (“Pride”). Although these families have pride in what they do, the majority do not wish their children to join them. These two conflating statistics show the complex nature of service. It seems to indicate that these families do recognize the struggles involved with their line of work. At the same time, both adults and children recognize the importance of what they do. This puts individuals who choose this life in a difficult place.
In her book, It’s What I Do, Addario offers her perspective on the complex nature of her career. When she is informed that her longtime friend and comrade Anthony Shadid died while in Syria, she is forced to take an introspective look at her own willingness continue her career:
It was less than a year after we had all narrowly escaped death in Libya. I felt angry. What was he doing in Syria so soon after what had transpired in Libya? I know that, had I not gotten pregnant, I too, would probably have been there. But it was easier to wish a conventional life on Anthony than it was at that moment to accept his resolution to cover Syria—at all costs. His death put a mirror to the pain I caused others with my decisions. (Addario 267)
The weight of reality lies heavy on the shoulders of these solders and journalists, but they often find themselves unable to give up what they do. Addario continues by saying, “I knew why he returned to cover conflict, just as I knew why I would one day return to cover conflict. As with all of us, it was in his soul, and very little could have kept him away” (Addario 267). There are forces at play that direct the soul beyond reason. These forces represent larger ideas of society. In a most selfish and selfless way, people are able to ruin their families for the benefit of the world. For people to continue with such work, they must believe the reward is work the cost.
Laurent Van Der Stockt, a professional war photographer who has sustained multiple injuries, reflects on his relationship with his children and his job: “My, kids were born into this. I was already doing this work, had already been wounded, when I became a father, so they were used to it. For a short period when they were eleven or twelve, they did feel bothered. Something like, ‘Am I less important than your job?’ But as they got older, they understood why I do this work” (Walsh 163). Addario has undoubtably had her own share of struggles in raising a family. She was initially opposed to the idea of having a family altogether, but eventually begrudgingly agreed to start one. Addario, however, didn’t face any of the issues that Miller had while raising her child. She was not a drinker, a smoker, or a partier. On the contrary, she was an all-around healthy, normal person. The issue Addario and her family faced is that she was still a very active photojournalist, and constantly away from home. Being absent for weeks or months on end certainly had an effect on her children. In the 2025 documentary, Love + War, a film about Addario’s struggle to balance her career with her family, one sees firsthand how taxing her career can be. Addario’s husband Paul wrestles with the difficulty of raising two young children by himself. Both of Addario’s children obviously are pained by their mother’s absence, with the oldest showing signs of depression and isolation. The strain on the marriage of Addario and Paul is also present, with Paul repeatedly making snide remarks at Addario’s expense. Despite all this, she remains steadfast in her belief that she is doing the right thing. Addario herself claims, “I would not be able to keep doing this work if I didn’t believe in it and if I didn’t believe that it was worth the toll that it takes on my loved ones” (Love).
The opinions of Addario and Van Der Stockt reflect the opinions of many combatants and non-combatants in war. These individuals are taking actions they believe to be beneficial to society. When participating in such noble work, it is not hard to imagine why it gets valued above all else. However, many military members believe that civilians do not understand how meaningful their service is. In that same study by Blue Star Families, it was determined that only 11 percent of active military members believe that Americans truly appreciate the sacrifices made by service members and their families (“Pride”). This rate was over three times lower than the corresponding civilian population. This shows a clear disconnect between perceived military sacrifices between military members and civilians. This could be a contributing factor to why society disagrees with the choices combatants and non-combatants make about their children. Addario addresses this issue in her documentary, saying, “People think, how can you still go to war as a mother? There is something way bigger than any of us, and I think it sort of takes over” (“Love”). Perhaps common society fails to understand how important this type of service is. No one can deny the importance of what they do.
The lives of military members and conflict journalists do not come without sacrifices. There is a part of society that believes that these sacrifices are necessary for the world. Another part of society believes that nothing could be worth the sacrifices these individuals make. Not only are their own lives put at risk, but the livelihoods and futures of their entire families are jeopardized. Loved ones can be killed, spouses can be divorced, and children can be ruined. Without being in the shoes of those people, most of society will never truly be able to understand why they made their choices. Not even all these people agree, but on one issue they share a consensus: None of them would do it unless they were absolutely sure it was worth it. The public—and the people in my class—do not share that consensus. Who’s to say who is right or wrong? Everyone draws their own line in the sand. At the end of the day, all these complexities are abstracted away, leaving a simple question: Is it worth the cost? Well, that is something everyone must figure out themselves.
Works Cited
Addario, Lynsey. It’s What I Do: A Photographer’s Life of Love and War. Penguin Books, 2015.
Creech, Suzannah K et al. “The Impact of Military Deployment and Reintegration on Children and Parenting: A Systematic Review.” Professional Psychology, Research and Practice, Dec. 2014, pp. 452-64.
Jowers, Karen. “Two-Thirds of Military Teens Want to Follow in Their Parents’ Footsteps. But These Kids ‘are Not Okay,’ Survey Finds.” Military Times, Military Times, 19 Aug. 2022, militarytimes.com/pay-benefits/2021/10/07/two-thirds-of-military-teens-want-to-follow-in-their-parents-footsteps-but-these-kids-are-not-okay-survey-finds/.
Love + War. Directed by Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi and Jimmy Chin, National Geographic Documentary Films, 2025.
Murthy, R Srinivasa, and Rashmi Lakshminarayana. “Mental Health Consequences of War: A Brief Review of Research Findings.” World Psychiatry, Feb. 2006, pp. 25-30.
Penrose, Antony. The Lives of Lee Miller. London, Thames and Hudson, 1985.
“Pride in Service.” Blue Star Families, Blue Star Families 2024, bluestarfam.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/BSF_MFLS24_Comp_Report_Pride_Svc-v2.pdf
Walsh, Lauren. Conversations on Conflict Photography. Bloomsbury, 2019.