Being a parent is one of the most influential roles you can hold in our society, but it is also proving to be one of the most difficult. These days, the books are endless about parenting styles and how they can help (or hurt) your child’s development (Here’s Amazon’s Top 100 List of Books for Best Parenting, if you don’t believe me). Stick with me, though; I hope the next few paragraphs give you some insight on the expectations you set for your children.
Access to so many resources may be overwhelming as a new parent, but I know what you’re thinking: I just want the best for my children. This is completely normal! You may want them to be able to be successful, to be safe, to be kind, to eventually gain independence and move out of the house.
Expectations are good, but the expectations of our youth are higher than they were in generations previously, and appear to only go up from here. Let’s take a step back and look at how high expectations can actually harm your child by increasing their risk for anxiety.
The Science Behind Anxiety
There is such thing as healthy anxiety (eustress), which is often a powerful motivator. It also helps us manage our flight-or-flight impulses in response to stressful situations.
However, when the anxiety starts holding an individual back from participating in day-to-day activities through panic attacks, constant worrying, or other unhealthy behaviors, it can lead to Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD).
People with GAD have certain pathways in their brain that are overactivated. When they are exposed to a stressful situation, the levels of Glutamate and Corticosterone increase, which increases the signaling of the MAPK and Glucocorticoid receptor pathways, respectively.
When these pathways are activated, it creates a transcription factor from called H3S10p-K12ac, which associates a memory with that stressful event. Sometimes, this process happens for events that should normally not cause excessive anxiety, thus making people with a higher level of H3S10p-K12ac have more anxiety.
GABA is also an important player in this process, as it helps keep anxiety at bay. Individuals with anxiety also have less GABA to suppress the overactive neurons that trigger anxiety.
What You Can Do
While it is possible for anxiety to be genetically linked, exposure to environmental factors have the greatest influence on anxiety. These factors can encompass trauma, personal relationships, stress from work or school, finances, or other stressful situations.
Parents hold a lot of power in their children’s adaptation to these environmental factors. By being overprotective or overcontrolling for your child, they are unable to react appropriately when they have not been exposed to stressful situations. They then form a negative memory with that situation, thus increasing their anxiety upon future related exposures. The same is to be said for parents who never say ‘no’ to their children, as their child doesn’t know how to react when they encounter rejection apart from their parents. Exposing children to stressful situations in a controlled or low-risk environments will help facilitate proper reactions in the real world.
There are wider implications also worth noting beyond the role of the parent. The United States ranks the third highest for prevalence of anxiety disorders by percent of population, behind India and China. While Americans pride themselves on achievements in this country, this pressure to succeed can also lead to higher anxiety.
My hope is that this article makes us mindful of the types of stresses that can put individuals at a greater risk for anxiety. Working toward a society that can manage stress properly is the ultimate goal, and I believe that advocating change among the parents in our society can greatly benefit future generations.
If you are interested in trying concrete techniques to reduce your children’s risk for anxiety, see here.
