Bulimic behavior is very interesting. It is one of those things that clearly have no upside. Everyone you ask would probably agree that nothing good could come from bingeing and purging. Even hard drug abuse might get a more positive response because at least drug users get high (or something).
There is a lot going on in the mind of people struggling with bulimia, as you would expect. I think one piece of the puzzle that is at least generally accepted is a main cause. I suspect most people would agree that the binge purge cycle can be initiated by a poor response to stress. Stressful feelings can then lead to the repeating and eventual chronic cycle of binging and purging. Individuals use binge planning and over eating as a way to comfort themselves, give the something to look forward to or give the some control over their own lives. A lot of these same people also struggle with body image so after a binge they feel insecure about their appearance and experience extreme guild for over eating. This leads to purging and then an overall sense of self disgust which can ultimately lead to the cycle repeating, so on and so forth.
This leads me to parenting. I would like to insert a disclaimer here. I recognize that parenting is basically impossible to do well and no matter how you chose to raise your children people will criticize you. I have no children so maybe I a not totally qualified to give advice, so I will just try to show and explain some interesting data and if you disagree with me that is fine, have a party.
In a recent study of children seeking help with bulimia the children were asked about their relationship with their parents. There was a large correlation between bulimic children and reports of feeling like they have a low care or very high care relationship with their parents.
So, children reporting a low care relationship make some sense to me at least. I suppose they could feel alone having a poor relationship with their parents and this could cause a sense distance from the world and enhance those stressful feeling which might lead to that binge purge cycle.
Unfortunately I don’t think there is much we can do about bad parents. Bad parents probably know they are bad parents, so I think we will just have to leave that issue right there. I think this is a little simpler than the only result of the study.
Very high care. What does that really mean? It sounds good right, like that is the best thing you could do. Generally having a high level of care for something leads to positive outcomes. If you have a high level of care for your work you probably do a good job, maybe you could get a raise or promotion. If you have a high level of care for your pet iguana it will probably live a long, healthy, and loving life in your terrarium. You get the idea. So why might a high level of care be bad for children?
The researchers suggested that children could feel like they have no control of their own lives when their parents are constantly helping them along and caring for the. The children could see this as their parents telling them what to do and controlling their lives (you know, teenage thoughts).
Here is the good news, we as a society might be able to do something about this. While we ight not be able to make bad parents good, perhaps we can make parents who are too good a little worse. I know that is preposterous but just let your children have some say in their lives. They need to feel like they are in control at least some of the time.
In all seriousness, being a parent must be impossible, so if you can get them to 18 without their mind or body being a total train wreck I commend you.
Parenting; where is the goldilocks zone?
